


Something Worth Salvaging

by veryderpypizza



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Crying, Dina is pissed, Ellie tries her best, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Hugging, Post-Canon, Post-Ending, apologizing, brief mention of an injury, brief mention of zombies, no beta we die like men, no runners or clickers here just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25371562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veryderpypizza/pseuds/veryderpypizza
Summary: Dina took J.J. and moved back to Jackson shortly after Ellie left for Santa Barbara.Months pass, and one day she's woken up to the news that Ellie has just returned.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 195





	Something Worth Salvaging

**Author's Note:**

> I needed these two to reunite because my poor heart couldn't bear the idea that they never see each other again. So this happened. Hope you enjoy!

Dina shoves her way through the small crowd gathered outside, breathing through her teeth. She can hear people calling her. Some part to let her through. Some try to stop her. She barrels through them. 

It's only until she gets a faceful of Tommy's chest that she's stopped in her tracks. 

"Move," she hisses, looking up at him. 

"Hold on," he says cautiously, holding his arms up in defense. "She's fine, just cold and needs some food—"

"—Fucking _move_ ," Dina yells, shoving Tommy two steps back with a hard press of both her hands on his chest. "Just let me in." Her voice quavers on the last word, and suddenly her eyes are warmer than she remembers just a second ago. _Don’t try and stop me _, she thinks. _You can’t. You won’t._ Her chest tightens as she looks Tommy in the eye. His expression softens to something remorseful. Like pity. It only makes Dina angrier, her breath coming out in huffs, condensing in the frigid morning air. __

____

____

Maria emerges from behind him, and Dina bites down a gasp. She blinks, and her eyes sting from the light wind cooling the welling tears in her eyes. Tommy could be a pushover if you knew how to get around him - Maria is much more fortified than he is. However, the blonde looks ten degrees calmer than her ex-husband, her aura infinitely more gentle. Maria puts a hand on Tommy's shoulder to gently push him out of the way, and then both of Maria's hands are resting on the sides of Dina's arms. 

"C'mon," she says unexpectedly in a soft voice, stepping aside to let Dina walk forward. "She's right in here." 

The comforting is strange to Dina, but she doesn’t have it in her to point it out. Instead she nods, swallowing, and walks on ahead into Maria’s house. She can't feel her legs beneath her body, she feels like she's floating as if in some kind of dream, guided only by Maria's hand on her upper back. Maybe it _is_ just another dream, she’s been having them frequently…

She can hear Tommy telling the small crowd to back away, go to sleep, it’s too early for this. There weren’t that many, really. The crowd must have consisted of everyone on guard at the main gates. They really should be going back to their posts.

The door clicks shut behind them, and Maria softly says _She’s right over here_ , while nodding her head toward the living room. Dina follows, her heart in her throat, her legs turning to jelly beneath her. It can’t be for real, it can’t. 

Then she sees her, wrapped up in blankets and holding a white mug of something hot with both of her hands, just beneath her chin, letting the steam rise up to her face. Her hair is oily and her face is covered in dirt. Her lips are blue. Her body is still shaking, as if she was brought in only a minute ago. She couldn't have arrived that soon, could she?

Dina's breath hitches when Ellie looks up, startled, staring at her with wide eyes and a gaping jaw. Somewhere in the back of Dina's mind, she's reminded of a deer in the headlights. 

"Ellie," Dina chokes out, tears of rage brimming her eyes. Maria rubs her upper back, as if that - or anything - could possibly sooth her right now. 

"Dina?" Ellie croaks, her voice dry. She bites her lip, and looks down into her cup. Averting her gaze.

"Don't," Dina begins, taking a slow step forward, "fucking look away." She can see Ellie's forehead crease from grimacing, but she doesn't lift her head back up.

"Hey,” Maria starts, “why don’t you two—" 

Dina shakes off her arm and takes another two strides toward Ellie, until she's arm's length from her cowering form on the couch. 

"Don't you fucking look away from me, Ellie!" Dina shouts, puffing her chest out, silently thanking the idiot for having the sense to flinch at her voice. " _Look_ at me, goddammit!" 

"Dina!" Maria raises her voice, though Dina barely hears it over her own loud breathing. She’s huffing, suddenly, her entire body temperature rising. If she were to close her eyes, she’d see nothing but red.

"Maria, it's fine," Ellie says, lifting a shaky hand up with missing fingers that were still there the last time Dina saw her. The day she packed her bag and left. Ellie tentatively looks up, and her mouth opens to say something, but Dina is already speaking before she realizes it.

"Why are you here?" she demands, her voice a low rumble.

Ellie bites her lip again, then looks over Dina's shoulder. "Can you leave us alone for a second?" 

Dina finds herself turning around to look at Maria. Her arms are crossed and there's disapproval clear on her face. Her eyes meet Dina's. She dares her to stay with the glare she throws.

"Does this have to be now?" 

"Yes," Dina answers, frowning when she realizes she said it at the same time as Ellie. Eventually, Maria shrugs and turns on her heel, moving toward the door. 

"Five minutes," she says. They watch her leave. The sound of the door clicking shut is deafening amongst the two of them in the room. Dina turns back around.

"Start talking."

"I wanted to do this tomorrow," says Ellie, having the nerve to end that on a weak chuckle. Dina gives her a look that wipes the half-smirk right off of her face. "I needed to see you." 

Dina barks out a laugh at that, a harsh, ugly sound. "Well," she sneers, raising her arms in presentation then letting them fall to her sides. "You see me."

"Yeah..." Ellie murmurs. Dina takes a step back, folding her arms across her chest. She taps her foot as she waits for the redhead to gather her bearings. She takes a good few moments to drink more of the contents in her cup, which Dina notices is just hot water. 

When there's only a quarter of the liquid left, Ellie sets the mug down by her feet. Then she suddenly makes to stand, grunting with the effort, and Dina backs away, fearing she’ll collapse. Somehow she manages to stay on her feet, and after taking a few deep, winded breaths, she looks at Dina. Her eyes are deep pools of regret. Good. 

"I'm sorry," she whispers. 

Dina grins, raising her eyebrows to her hairline and nodding once. "Really? That's what you say to me?" 

"What else do you want me to say?" 

"I don't know," Dina starts, "How about 'Sorry for throwing away everything we had so that I could go off and kill myself, hope you had fun raising J.J. alone!'" 

"Dina, I—"

"Fuck you, Ellie," Dina spits, already tired of this shit. "If that’s all you’re here to do, then I don’t wanna hear it. You don’t get to hurt me again. Not now, not ever. Rest up, stay in Jackson, hit the road, do whatever, I don't care. Just don't let me see you ever again." 

A sick satisfaction settles in Dina's chest at the way Ellie's eyes go wide at that, at the way she looks like she couldn't have made a worse decision in her life. Dina doesn't want to stick around to enjoy it for very long, though, and she's already turning around to storm out. 

"Wait! Dina, wait!" Ellie yelps, her voice cracking. Dina ignores the pit forming in her stomach, ignores the feeling like she's making a mistake. Fuck it. So what if she is? She won't regret this very much, if at all. It doesn't matter. It’ll never matter. "Please, wait!" 

Dina scrubs the tears off her own cheek with her sleeve, using her other arm to reach out for the door handle. Then Ellie's cold arms are locked around her waist.

She gasps, staring blankly ahead, the welling tears in her eyes spilling over in slow trails. She closes her eyes and mouth, swallows the lump in her throat. Her tongue feels like a wad of cotton. The gesture is unbearable, violently tearing open old wounds. If only she could wake up right now and be back in their kitchen, leaning back into the embrace and laughing while Ellie tucks her chin over her shoulder and sings a song purposely off-key. She’d dance to it anyway, and their chores would be delayed for at least half an hour. 

This time, in the here-and-now, Ellie's limbs are cold. Her body is lukewarm, save for the heat of her chin resting on Dina's right shoulder. Her ears are still cold, though, and it chills the shell of her own ear where they come into contact. There isn't a golden morning light streaming through the windows, not like the last time they were this close. It's a gloomy overcast, drenching the room in near total darkness save for the few oil lanterns on the coffee table.

“Don’t go.”

“Ellie.”

“Please.”

Ellie hugs her tighter, stunting Dina's breathing ever so slightly, her breath hitching in her chest. A hoard of Runners couldn’t make Ellie let go right now. Dina drops her reaching arm, the doorknob suddenly feeling like it’s a hundred feet away, and sighs to herself. 

"I couldn't do it," Ellie cries softly into her shoulder. Dina opens her eyes at that, taking a grounding breath in and out through her nose. She opens her eyes, training them to the floor. "I had her. She was... she was gonna die. I had her, and then I saw him, and—" 

Dina's lip quivers as she reaches down and grabs one of Ellie's wrists, tugging it away from her torso, surprised that the action meets no resistance. Ellie is sobbing as she turns herself around and cups her face with both her hands. Dina doesn't know what she's doing anymore, moving on autopilot. She should be shoving Ellie away and leaving this place, cutting her out of her life once and for all. It’s like the sound and presence of Ellie flipped a switch, wiping the slate clean, and she’s sketching a new plan as she goes along. Somehow, she's wiping Ellie's tears with her thumbs. Ellie's hands grasp at Dina's jacket and ball into fists as she leans in and rests her forehead on her collarbone. Her body is racked with sobs, her shoulders lifting and falling with the effort of her breathing. Dina lifts her head up and rests her chin on the top of Ellie's head, her arms slowly wrapping around Ellie's shoulders.

Ellie sobs for a little while more. Dina lets her. All of her plans to leave dissolved into ash the moment she was trapped in Ellie's desperate hold, her last ditch effort. Any ideas about locking this girl away from her heart forever are trampled by the reality that she is going to stay here and work through this with Ellie. The reality that Ellie is going to stay in Jackson for however long she needs, and that Dina will still see her no matter how furious she is. 

Because dammit, she missed Ellie. She felt her absence like the loss of a limb. It doesn't matter how much she deserves to be abandoned at her most vulnerable state in the same way Ellie abandoned her, because deep down Dina knows that she'll never be able to shake off the fact that she still loves her. She loved her when she nearly threw hands with Seth that night a few years ago. She loved her when they were in Seattle, risking their lives to avenge Joel. She loved her while she held her hand as she cradled J.J. in her arms for the first time. She loved her long after she had to move back to Jackson, after everything was ruined.

Eventually, Ellie comes back to herself, breathing in deep, shivery breaths. She lifts her head and looks Dina in the eye, her eyes splotchy, red, and puffy. The tears smeared the dirt on her face, leaving clean trails in their wake. Some are still hanging on her chin. 

"I fucked up," she says. Her voice is surprisingly steady. "I fucked up probably more than I've ever fucked up in my entire life." 

Dina scoffs, but it's a weak, aborted sound, with no sincerity behind it. Still, Ellie frowns deeper, and her death grip on Dina's jacket loosens. 

"I don't know how I can say how sorry I am. I— I screwed you over. I left you and Potato, I left the house, the farm, the sheep, I— everything that we worked for. We were happy, and I fucked it all up. And I knew it, too. I knew what I was leaving behind, and I still had to..." 

Now it's Dina who's looking away, and she feels like a coward, a pang of guilt settling in her chest. But her heart is aching; Ellie is too sincere, too sorrowful, too everything. Dina always imagined this moment, and that it would go something like this. She always thought she'd still have it in her to turn around and leave. It was one thing to think about it, and another for it to actually happen. 

Dina startles, gasping when Ellie suddenly takes a step back, going down to her knees. 

"Dina,” she says, reaching out and holding both of Dina’s hands in hers. “You don't deserve me. I don't deserve you. Not after what I did. But I have nothing else left. You and J.J. are my everything. I love you, I've loved you for so long." Ellie sniffs, her voice getting tighter, straining to get the words out. Dina avoids blinking out of fear that more of her own tears will spill. "Tell me to stay, and I’ll stay. Tell me to leave, and I’ll leave and never look back. You'll never see me again. You can be happy. But, fuck, shit — look, all I ask is if you can forgive me." 

Ellie kisses her hands. 

"Please," she whispers. “If you can. It’s all I’m asking.”

Dina grinds her teeth. She pictures herself yanking her hands away, storming out, and slamming the door behind her. Leaving Ellie in the cold, in the dark. She wishes she can do that, but she knows deep down that she doesn’t want to.

If there’s anything, _anything_ left between them, then it’s worth salvaging. 

Next thing she knows, she's gently taking hold of Ellie's head and hugging her against her stomach. 

"I don't know if I can do that, Ellie," she answers softly, honestly. A pause. "But I'll try. For you. For us." 

She doesn't remember how long Ellie stays like that, weeping and muttering _Thank you_ and _I’m sorry_ over and over again. Dina holds her, making fleeting attempts at comforting her, hesitating only because she knows there’s nothing she can really do to calm Ellie at this point. Soon enough, Maria comes back in, and Dina can’t be thankful enough. She’s exhausted from too much mental turmoil and not enough hours of sleep. Maria helps Dina to get Ellie back up on her feet. Together they guide her back to the couch, throwing the blankets back over her shoulders, and Dina volunteers to get her more water.

Everything after that was a blur. Dina mentioned something about getting back to J.J., and Maria said she'd handle him for the night, to which Dina thanked her. She left after that, and Dina suggested that they should go to sleep.

Now they're laying down together on their backs on the sofa, Ellie on top of Dina, fast asleep. They're cocooned in layers of blankets, and Ellie stopped shivering a little while back. Dina is absent-mindedly carding her fingers through her tattered, oily hair. She'll need a good bath. And more food. And a real room. And a place to stay. That’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

Dina sighs and settles back into her pillows, her body, heavy as lead, sinking into the couch. She murmurs a little prayer to herself, for comfort, just in case God is out there and listening — a brief follow-up for the last time.

_Thank you for keeping her safe._

**Author's Note:**

> I literally just finished TLoU Part II a few days ago and I'm still not over it. I was originally gonna add way more to this but I lost my creative flow right around that ending point. I might add more in the future, I'm not sure yet. This is the first fic I'm posting online in quite a long time, I'm so nervous lol. I'm not 100% happy with it, I know there's more I can go back and tweak, but if I don't post this now I'll never get it out of my drafts. Gotta start from somewhere.


End file.
